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for peace and quiet in my head. New memories...

Granted by Heroes: purplewolf, cindy1969CO
I know no one can grant this wish, I don't even know why i'm making it.
If anyone out there knows about DID/MPD (Dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder) they will understand this wish.
April 19th is fast approaching and the closer it gets the louder my head gets. Apr. 19th is the day my daughter was born and died. (on Easter many years ago) She was born and died through abuse.

I've been doing so good since moving home to FL. mentally I'm better then I've been in all of my life but I still struggle every day to keep it together. I lived through severe and ongoing abuse from the day I was born until i finally fled the state (and went to FL) at age 20. That was 13 years ago. I have not been back and not had any contact with anyone from my 'family'.

Having a Mental illness directly from abuse is so hard because medications do not help it. Therapy helps but it doesn't stop the crying and pain in my head. Pain from parents who used and abused us, sold us and tortured us.

I'd love to create some new memories (GOOD ones) where we can have a good easter meal. I would love to get my 'inside' kids a easter basket with goodies so they know they are loved. I can't do either because its all extra and i dont have it. I've been eatting crackers for 3 days because I have nothing else.

its so hard when no one understands or doesnt believe. believe me I wish I was making it up. I wish I didnt have so many personalites we stopped counting. i wish i didnt need extensive therapy to over come 20 years of abuse. i wish i could work and provide for my animals. i just wish i was ok.
I dont expect anyone to grant this wish. I just want someone out there to know WE exsist.

Wish Info

  • Posted: Apr 7, 2011 10:43 am
    Granted: May 13, 2011
  • Member: xxdogloverxx
  • Member Since: Jul 10, 2009
  • Hero: 154 times
  • Wishes Granted: 25 times
  • Raised: $0.00 Goal: $1.00
  •  
  • City: Navarre
  • State: Florida
  • Country: United States
  • Type: Want
  • Wish is for: Self
  • Category: Other
  • Cause: Not Applicable
  • Views: 624
  • Comments: 17
  • Follows: 1

2 Accepted OffersLast offer 25 months ago

*Guest offers are automatically accepted, and do not appear in the list below.

  • purplewolf 25 months ago - Accepted!

    I will send $2 also i was able to sell a candle i made the moneys yours. Hugs!!!!

  • cindy1969CO 25 months ago - Accepted!

    I can send $2 cash - it's all I got right now. I know you're going through a lot. I am always here to talk. *hug*

Comments & Responses


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xxdogloverxx 24 months ago

Thank you to all of my hero's who helped us out in this time of great need! you are all very wonderful and your kindness was not ill-spent. Thank you all.

xxdogloverxx 24 months ago

Aimee its good to see you back. I am sorry I'm just now seeing this message. I hope your exam went well!! thank you for your kind words :)

aimee2010 24 months ago

hello
hope all is well i've got my exm soon so i beter get bak to my work. I hope thngs get better for you. I may come back soon.
Aimee

aimee2010 24 months ago

hello
i thougt i would let u no tht walmat have split up ur order and shiped the items seprtely. u should be expecting two delveries the week.
may be same or diffrent days
hope u have a nice day.
bye

aimee2010 24 months ago

hello
sorry about your daughter. You must stay strong.
sorry about your DID/MPD. You must stay srong.

I pray that all sick people get better(including animals, cats, dogs, monkeys, zebras, fish, sharks, alegators, frogs, tadpoles, goldfish bacteria ( except ecoli- i hate ecoli), snakes, mice, rats, arangatan, kitty, lola, fluffy, feebie, chicken, chick, and parrot and all the others animals too).


You must stay strong.

so that u know i have sent u some wallmat goodies.

Aimee2010

P.s i think i will be going into hibernation again. But this tim i will try to keep an eye on this site. Last time i didnt come on for a whole month.

xxdogloverxx 25 months ago

tumbleweed thank you so much for the kind words. you are always so kind to us. You are a true hero. we fight every day to be ok. and while we are doing so good here back home where we belong it is a daily struggle to keep going. but we are doing just that. we are moving along and getting stronger by the day!

virgo- thank you for acknowledgeing us. it helps so much to know someone anyone out there cares. thank you for showing us that.

WYTumbleweed 25 months ago

I know you exist - ALL of you. Each of you has been necessary to to your survival as a whole because of what you had to endure in childhood. Hopefully as you become stable and more self sufficient, you will gain confidence and strength - and he brave enough one day to trust that you can integrate into one single beautiful, safe and wonderful personality!! When you are ready, it will begin. Scary and painful, but wholly worthwhile for a peaceful future. (((hugs)))

virgo82 25 months ago

I'm so sorry for what you have had to go through and having to deal with this on a daily basis. I just want to say that I wish you well and hope that you will one day find the peace you are seeking. Take care honey. xx

xxdogloverxx 25 months ago

i wish i didnt feel so lost.

xxdogloverxx 25 months ago

sheggy thank you for your kind words. Its such a daily struggle to keep going. and during hard times of the year it makes it evenworse. but i keep moving along. slowly. thank you for careing enough to post :)

sheggy 25 months ago

We do know that you exist and are happy that you are continuing to battle the mental illness. My girls are both autistic and my oldest is bipolar. I understand what it's like to deal with something that is so chemically based that you have no control over it. Just know that you are loved and cared for.

xxdogloverxx 25 months ago

thank you mommie 817.

My2boys thank you for caring and for reading up on this disorder. its bad enough to have a mental illness but to know it all stems from the people who were supposed to protect you is even harder.

airetsyh im glad your son has a mom who is willing to learn. that is the hardest thing for those of us with both chemical mental disorders and those of us like me with psychological ones. having people who are willing to learn and help and/or at least listen is the hardest thing to find in the world these days. the stigma regarding those with mental illness is so hard to overcome that we tend to seclude completley.

airetsyh 25 months ago

I will pray for you. I don't know about DID/MPD but I do know a little about mental illness. My son (who is now 11) is Bi-Polar and has been in and out of mental institutions. Its not the same, I know, but it helps to know you are not alone, and there are people out here that believe true mental illness. I am very sorry for the abuse you have suffered. If you ever need to talk, I am available.

my2boys10 25 months ago

I know what DID is! I never heard of it until a few months ago but I read a few books about a person who has it! I pray that you can be the old you again and be happy! I also pray that you get some heroes! I am in a big hole right now so I cant help with money but if you need to talk Im here!

mommie817 25 months ago

i hope you get many heroes honey hugs
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