I know no one can grant this wish, I don't even know why i'm making
If anyone out there knows about DID/MPD (Dissociative identity
disorder/multiple personality disorder) they will understand this
April 19th is fast approaching and the closer it gets the louder my
head gets. Apr. 19th is the day my daughter was born and died. (on
Easter many years ago) She was born and died through abuse.
I've been doing so good since moving home to FL. mentally I'm
better then I've been in all of my life but I still struggle every
day to keep it together. I lived through severe and ongoing abuse
from the day I was born until i finally fled the state (and went to
FL) at age 20. That was 13 years ago. I have not been back and not
had any contact with anyone from my 'family'.
Having a Mental illness directly from abuse is so hard because
medications do not help it. Therapy helps but it doesn't stop the
crying and pain in my head. Pain from parents who used and abused
us, sold us and tortured us.
I'd love to create some new memories (GOOD ones) where we can have
a good easter meal. I would love to get my 'inside' kids a easter
basket with goodies so they know they are loved. I can't do either
because its all extra and i dont have it. I've been eatting
crackers for 3 days because I have nothing else.
its so hard when no one understands or doesnt believe. believe me I
wish I was making it up. I wish I didnt have so many personalites
we stopped counting. i wish i didnt need extensive therapy to over
come 20 years of abuse. i wish i could work and provide for my
animals. i just wish i was ok.
I dont expect anyone to grant this wish. I just want someone out
there to know WE exsist.